Placing principles before personalities...

The trouble with having principles is that they are expensive not only to get, but also to maintain. I’m sitting here before class contemplating a conflict of principle. For those of you who listened to my recent entries on the AudioBlog, you can skip the background and move on to the third paragraph. I had to miss class last Tuesday because Cher and I carpooled to Denver. I had class and she had an orientation to attend. The plan was for me to attend my first class and pick her up after her orientation, take her home, and then come back for my second class. As it turns out, her orientation ran long and I realized that I wouldn’t have time to get back for class. Being a good egg, I quickly found the syllabus for the class in question and read that two unexcused absences would result in a reduction of my final grade by one letter grade. Reading on, I discovered that excused absences could be had if there were a viable reason and if the professor was notified in advance. I had already missed the first day of class due to the move before I even knew about his policy.

Being reasonably sure that my wife had orientation that ran long was not going to fly, I conceived of a reason that he might consider viable. I told him that her car had broken down and that I had to miss class so that I could help her out and pick our kids up from school on time. I don’t generally lie – not for any noble reason mind you, just that it often creates more trouble than it’s worth. I figured I was good and then, in a stroke of genius, sent him an email as well on the odd chance he didn’t check his voicemail. I was considerably more vague in the email. So, after class on Thursday, and a pop quiz on the class before, he pulls me aside and asks me for documentation to prove the reason for my absence. He points out that the need for documentation is expressly pointed out on the syllabus and that he has to be consistent. Trying to show no reaction, I tell him I’ll do what I can and go about my business.

The more I thought about this predicament, the more pissed off I got. First of all, I wouldn’t have lied if I had deemed that the very reasonable circumstances that caused me to miss class would be acceptable. In effect, I lied for his comfort as much as my own. Secondly, I’m 33 yrs old and I PAID to take this class – that makes me the customer. If I don’t choose to use what I paid for it’s on me. Thirdly, I’m 33 yrs old and I have RESPONSIBILITIES – If I need to miss, I’m going to miss and you need to trust me to figure that out. I can only surmise that he feels his time is VERY valuable and that he needs his students to demonstrate the respect for his position that he feels he deserves. I would even go so far as to assume he’s been more lenient in the past and been burned for it – hence his blanket policy. What I disagree with is treating everyone in the class as though they are untrustworthy and irresponsible. Treating people as though they might be dishonest encourages them to be dishonest. The same applies in reverse. Trusting someone encourages them to be trustworthy.

So here’s the thing, I typically clean up my messes as soon as I realize I’ve made one. In this case, I’ve been dishonest. However, I did not create harm by my actions. I feel like I should apologize for the lie even though it’s not important to my principle in this case. On the surface, apologizing up front weakens my argument against his policy. In practice, it’s integral to my point – that if you treat people as though they are dishonest, they will be. I may or may not apologize for the lie – I’ll have to wait and see if it’s going to be beneficial or not. I will absolutely let him know that I’ll respectfully not be providing documentation despite the potential negative impact on my grade based on a principled disagreement with his policy. If he chooses to ask me about my principles, then I’ll proceed delicately.

I actually like this teacher and enjoy his class so I don’t want to upset him unduly but if it happens, it’s his shit. I guess I’d like to point out the fault in his thinking even if it’s not my place. Perhaps he’ll offer me the opportunity. I rather hope he doesn’t. It’s absolutely worth a letter grade to stand by my principles. My GPA will survive. I think it’s silly to ding an “A” student, someone who is responsible, for not being in class. If you can not go to class and still get an “A”, more power to you.

RCS