Happy 9th Birthday Corwin!!!

Today marks the beginning of the 9th year of my son Corwin. Happy Birthday Corwin! The photograph is a bit dated but it's the only one I had on hand. You can find more recent pix of him on the photoblog he's the taller blond boy with the scrunchy face - he was in a mood that day... He’s home sick today. I wish I was there with him. I’m at school, like I am so often these days. I elected to skip my first class this morning as I wasn’t prepared to attend having not read the material we were to be discussing. I’m reminiscing about the first year or so of Corwin’s life. He was born Caesarean section after a lengthy labor. I remember being terrified that I might lose both his mother and he in the process. I sucked it up and ventured into the ER to watch them cut, pry, and pull him into this world. It was fascinating. Because he didn’t benefit from a trip down the birth canal, he had a significant amount of fluid on his lungs and had to be kept under observation for the first few hours of his life. He screamed so loud in frustration and anger that we could hear him all the way down the hall some thirty or forty yards from the nursery. He screamed like that for hours.

He was a big baby and could mostly hold his head up from birth. When we finally got to hang out with him, he was very sweet and calm. He knew instinctively how to nurse and went to town. He was one hell of an eater. He used to eat 64oz of breast milk in 12hrs. For that first year, I stayed home and took care of him. We played, he slept in my arms or on my chest most days. I made the mistake of letting him sleep there when I had my shirt off only once. Suffice is to say, I didn’t have what he was looking for… Chuckle… He grew fast and was advanced in his development learning to walk and talk very early. He was not usually much trouble though I woke up one day to find that he’d taken a permanent black marker to the hardwood floor, TV, and entertainment center. I rubbed my eyes, made certain of what I’d seen and then stumbled back to bed to tell my ex-wife that she’d better handle this one – thankfully she did.

Now he’s getting big – too big for hugs and kisses. He’ll still snuggle up occasionally but it’s a very sly, gradual thing. Now he’s obsessed with video games and competitions. He loves to be rowdy and chase around the house. He’s gained a big brother out of Cher and I’s marriage who he alternately idolizes and is angry with for the demands a 14yr old can place on a little brother. It’s toughened him up a lot. He, like his father, has a big heart and is hurt easily. He’s obsessed with being right much like I was and/or am. He’s generally happy though sometimes very moody. When he’s upset, he likes to isolate and work it out on his own again, much like me.

Children are a blessing like no other. Sure they’re challenging. Sure you want to choke the life out of them occasionally. They demand that you show up even when you’re not in the mood. They force you to look at your own strengths and weaknesses on a daily basis. They make you work to be the best you can be. They need your care and attention at every turn. I wish for my son a happy healthy life full of adventure and peace of mind. I want him to be whatever he wants to be. I want him to be a man people admire and respect. I don’t want him to grow up so fast. But then, what more can I do but show up everyday to the best of my ability and show him by example what and how to be, hold him accountable to his responsibilities, give him hugs, praise him for doing well, and correct him when he’s wrong? The rest is in his hands and I know he’ll do what he needs to do to get wherever he’s going. I just feel privileged to walk with him through this portion of his journey. I love you son!

RCS