Choices and Consequences in all Things...

“Choices and consequences in all things” is a phrase of which I am very fond. Many of my friends and relatives will tell you that I often use it to express the sentiment that most things in our lives come about as the direct or indirect result of our choices. I suppose that by exercising my choice to mention it, I might have angered those same people on more than one occasion. Still, I wouldn’t be me if I were willing to lie when people ask my opinion. Of course, those of you who read me didn’t ask my opinion but, by choosing to read, I suppose you’ve given me tacit consent to express it.

Each of us makes choices – most of us, make several hundred per day. They are often unconscious - things like getting out of bed, or going to work. But then, even those unconscious choices have their basis in conscious choice. We often choose to react or respond based upon habits born out of our own experience and that of our families and the culture of our society and the various social groups in which we live. Each of us is the culmination of the choices we and others have made on our behalf - so then, each choice matters. What determines whether a choice is good or bad?

Certainly perspective plays a roll. Would not a moralist make different choices than a criminal? Would either be more correct than the other? It depends on your perspective and where your individual sympathies lie. There are certainly choices that most, if not all, people would consider to be good or bad. Such qualifications are made based on the results or consequences of a given choice – the proof is in the pudding after all. Our parents knew this little secret and tried, often in vane, to get us to think about the consequences of our actions. Far too often I, and I suspect some of you, have failed to consider the consequences of my choices. Years ago, I cut my hair to get a promotion I thought I wanted at work. I spent a decade working for that company in various positions only to discover that it wasn’t anything like I’d thought it would be. I quit, and decided to become a musician. I’m growing it back out – in effect choosing to exempt myself from choosing to go back to the life I hated.

What I’ve failed to realize, more often than not, is that life is always complicated but the choices need not be. Making the right decision, each decision, one at a time is not really so much hard as it is scary. You see making the right choice implies both a faith that you’ve made the right choice and a willingness to live with the consequences. I’ve chosen to sabotage myself, and my dreams many times over the years. However, this has taught me to trust my inspiration and trust that the right answer will present itself if I’m diligent and patient. I’ve been ignoring my inspiration lately - something that has proven to be a path to unhappiness for me. Life is too short to spend all of your time chasing something other than your dreams.

The justifications for making the wrong choices are legion. My favorite these days is the need to take care of my kids. I’ve been trying to convince myself, and my lovely wife that I need to drop out of school and get a job to help her provide for the family. In truth, she makes enough money to support us if we live frugally. She and I are not that good at frugal living however. This is, of course, yet another series of choices the consequences of which include one of us needing to work harder to support our chosen lifestyle. I’m not willing to choose to have my wife out of the house more often – we need her here. That being said, I’m trying to figure out how to generate $200/wk so that she doesn’t have to.

In the end, I will probably end up working part time somewhere. Hopefully, I can get a job in music somehow. I must continue to work to be the best musician I can be so that I can make money doing what I love. Life, I think, is too damn short not to work towards something that matters. Healthy, happy, well adjusted children tend to come from healthy, happy, well adjusted parents. I want my kids to understand in a real way that their dreams are possible. I want them to learn the dedication and focus it takes to see those dreams to fruition. I want them to feel ok setting out on their own and to not feel as though they have to work for someone else doing something they hate for the rest of their lives. I choose to model this for them and for myself.

Cher is going back to school this spring. She’ll be going part time, about 8 credit hours during the day while the kids are at school. What makes me most happy is that she’s taking art classes – something she’s always wanted to do. She too is pursuing her dreams! This is exciting to me because she is one of those people who never does anything for herself. She feels bound to care for us, her family and does so at great expense to herself. So, Cher going to school is a big deal and I’m so proud of her! Can you imagine if everyone on earth felt free to follow their passion? What a different world this would be! We are taught, from the beginning to work, to compete, to sacrifice for others – that our own happiness is secondary.

The following “unselfishness trap” was first described to me via the writings of Harry Browne as part of my ethics class this semester. Consider for a minute the idea that happiness is a red rubber ball. Now contemplate a completely unselfish group of people who are only interested in the happiness of others. If one member of this group came into possession of the ball he or she would quickly pass it on to another who would in turn pass it on to another and so on. No one would really be happy because they would always be giving happiness to others. So then, when we give no thought to our own happiness, we are not happy. Are we not then of maximum utility to ourselves and others when we are happy and doing what we love?

I think the answer is yes. I think we owe an obligation to ourselves, our families, and the people in our lives to use the gifts we have to pursue our passions. I think that in doing so, we all benefit. I think that if more people would quit their meaningless jobs and start working at whatever fires their passions, we would advance as a society at an exponential rate socially, technologically, and artistically. I choose to believe that a life spent in the pursuit of dreams and passion is the only life worth living for it is by that example that we all gain the faith to dare to try for something better. I choose to try.

RCS