What a day! I am so emotionally overwrought at the moment, I don’t know what to do with myself – so I’ve decided to bl**. We had the inspection on the house we’re trying to buy yesterday. It went well but it took forever. It seems the house needs a new furnace and a new roof however, other than those two pesky items, most of the other stuff could be fixed in a day or two. The owner is inclined to deduct the cost of the roof off the purchase price which would be fine if we had the $2500+ to replace a roof that needs to be replaced before winter. The furnace could probably be nursed along for a while though there are a couple of gas leaks that need to be addressed immediately. We’re planning on putting in AC anyway so we could conceivably do it all at once. Trying to buy a house has placed and unbelievable strain on our finances. It is only through the generosity of various family members that we’ve gotten this far. Hopefully we can push through the rest without event.
We had family night at our house last night. For those of you who are new to my bl**, this madcap party is a weekly event. We get together and let our kids play while we sit, talk, eat, and eat some more. It’s grown from merely eight to nine people at it’s inception to fifteen who show up regularly and two or three more who show up occasionally. Anyway we had it at our house because everybody wanted to make use of the pool but due to the inspection we didn’t get back to the house until nearly 6pm and it rained cats and dogs most of the afternoon anyway hence, no swimming. Dinner was yummy. We had pizza, the best pizza chain pizza IMHO, Anthony’s Pizza to be exact. We also celebrated two birthdays this month. One was my lovely wife Cheryl who is and ever shall remain beautiful in my eyes and the other was our dear friend E. Two birthdays = two cakes and both kicked ass. Thankfully, Cher and I enjoyed ourselves immensely during the evening because we both ended up sleeping on the couch and not for any of the fun reasons you can think of – one of the kids decided to “pop the bubbles” in our waterbed. A HUGE thank you to the Mom and Dad of this child for helping me to patch the waterbed today. I very much appreciated the help. Having great friends really helps to smooth over hard times.
So, my lovely wife and I spent the night sleeping on our futon couch. This couch is simply evil. It is lumpy and doesn’t lay flat on the frame. Both of us woke up with aches and pains to the sounds of children trying desperately to force their way past the makeshift barricade we’d built in the hall to slow the inevitable invasion. Though slowed, they wiggled their little butts through with remarkable ease and commenced to having breakfast ten feet from our heads in the most obnoxious fashion possible – kid style. So we begrudgingly got up and got dressed after a mostly sleepless night and headed out to purchase a patch kit for the bed. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s pretty damn hard to buy an old school waterbed these days let alone patch one. In any case, we finally found what we needed and returned home to commence the, much needed, repair.
As soon as I started, I noticed a problem. The night before, there were only two holes in evidence and I readily located those again as I got ready to patch them. It was about then that I noticed that it was wet further down the bed. Suffice is to say, there were MANY more than two holes. I sank to the floor in frustration. Cher, who was preparing a little nest on the side of the bed on the floor to sleep in, asked me what was wrong and I told her. She told me to just go ahead and take the time to drain the bed and fix it and I declined so that she could have more time to sleep seeing as she had to work tonight. We argued back and forth about it for about five minutes. As it turns out, she didn’t get much sleep anyway.
For much of the past month, my three kids have been off of their normal schedules. Normally, my ex and I split our parenting time more or less down the middle with me having them half of the week and her having them the other. Things have been off kilter because of various family trips and Cher and I’s wedding. As you might expect chaos levels have been high for about a month because kids like routine. All and all, we survived. We’re finally back on schedule and it will be nice to get back into a routine again. Thankfully, my ex is fairly conscious of maintaining a balance with regards to parenting time. On the whole, we have a fairly good working relationship with regards to the kids – something for which I am VERY thankful. Divorce can be awful though ours has been more amicable than most.
Tonight, however, I was forced to stand on principle and defend my boundaries – something which I am generally none too comfortable doing. I may well have placed our good working relationship in jeopardy in doing so – we shall have to see. It’s odd how uncomfortable I get when I feel forced to say, “no you can’t treat me that way” to my ex. In general, if you piss me off, I’ll front you off straight away and tell you exactly how I feel about it. However, It’s so very important to me that my ex and I maintain workable communications around the kids that I hesitate when I would otherwise not do so. In fairness, I suspect she probably does the same. I wonder when, if ever, the unresolved pain, anger, and disappointment of a broken marriage will fade and disappear. In a very real sense, I will have to see this woman and relate to her politely for the rest of my life and hers. Some days that’s more of a struggle than others. Today was one of those days. Marriage may no longer be a lifetime commitment but having and raising happy, healthy kids with someone absolutely is.
That’s why I’m so thankful as I wrap this up that Cher and I found each other. We’ve agreed. There will be no divorce. Period. End of sentence. We are each committed to raising our kids to be happy, healthy, successful, functional adults. We’re committed to loving and supporting each other for the long haul. I look forward to being able to proudly say to any we meet, “I’m old man Seifert, and this is my dear wife Cheryl.” I thought you might enjoy reading our wedding vows – those simple words whose meaning brought us both to tears:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family, and our friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for richer or poorer, and in times of joy as well as in times of sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals and aspirations, to honor and respect you, and to laugh and cry with you as we march, hand in hand, down the happy road of destiny. (name), I will love and cherish you as long as I live cultivating in my heart gratitude for the life we make together.
As it turns out, Bl**ing does help. Incidentally, I just recently realized that using any derivation of the word bl** is a no no, though I have no idea why. Anyway, I feel better. Time to go check and see if I missed any holes in the bed. YAY!